Blah, Blah, Blah....

He did it again....

2008-03-03T23:05:11Z

I have told david, time and time again, that I absolutely HATE when i get my hopes up about something and its taken away at the last minute. He always said the same things

'im sorry'
'if i could go back and do it over, i would'
'please forgive me'
'i wont do it again'
'do you hate me?'
and my personal favorite
'i love you' and he waits for me to say it back
GRRR!

it drives me absolutely nuts.
well NO MORE!
i am putting my foot down. i told him that he has lost practically all trust and patience with him.
i mean, i really am not mad at the fact that he had to cancel; he had good reasons to (he's really low on money this month and can't afford the gas) but there are two things wrong with this scenario
1) i told him id pay for his tank of gas to come over
2) he shouldn't have made the plans to begin with if he already knew that he was low on money (which he did know ahead of time)

the problem isnt that he can't come (for whatever dumb excuse) but that he said he could, got my hopes up, and changed his mind while he was ON HIS WAY. you can't get any more last minute than that!

he really needs to grow some balls.

FROM NOW ON

2008-03-03T14:08:46Z

FRIENDS ONLY

JUST ADD :)

Hey you with the pretty face!

2006-11-26T18:50:02Z

Soh- here i am. studying one more time for the dreaded SAT's

I hate SAT's. Hate doesn't even cover it.

I cannot wait until I graduate and leave for college. I can't wait to leave the rules and the watchful eyes of my parents. I can't wait to live my life with david. I love david. ^_^

Time for the final bow

2006-09-27T17:43:25Z

well, like many people say: all great things must come to an end.

these past few days has been some of the saddest of my life. On sunday, my parents came to talk to me to announce how they don't wish for me and david to see eachother anymore. they told me that i wasn't the daughter they once knew and they don't like where my relationship with david is heading. my mom basically called me a slut, and my dad said i had no self-respect, and he doubted david's true feelings for me.
I wish i could tell them everything, absolutely everything i feel for david. but, of course, im not stupid. i know how immature and crazy our relationship is. i know exactly what will go through my parent's head when i tell them that i am in love with david; they're going to think that i'm just a stupid little 17 year old with a crush, and that i'm too young to experience any feelings for someone. And i know that they're going to flip if i even mention the fact that i want to marry him. I wish i could though, i wish i could be open with my parents. I wish i could tell them about our past, about our similariteis, about how he helped me. I wish my parents and i were still friends, and i wish they would let me grow up..... so much for wishing, huh?

tuedsay's life lesson: never again in a car, ever

On top of all this stress from the drama, there's also been some problems at home. My uncle, gino, passed away yesterday. He was one of my favourite relatives, if not my favourite. He was loved me and called me beautiful when the whole world was calling me fat. He made me laugh when he knew i was upset. he was always so full of life. he was a fighter. did the cancer, or the heart attacks, or the liver failure, or the alcoholism ever slow him down? hell no. if there's one good thing i can say right now, in this very sad moment, is that gino lived his life to the fullest extend, and beyond.

[i miss him, so much]

what do you do with a BA in English?

2006-09-18T11:41:11Z

blah. its early. i want to sleeeeeep. shower's running..... maybe i shouldnt be wasting that much water..... oh well

[edit]

*sigh* the shower was rejuvinating. okay, so basically my life is pretty fucking amazing right now. david and i have a really good, sturdy relatioship. i love everything about him. he proposed to me last thursday, the 14th, as an unofficial thing. as in an engagement to be engaged. and i said yes! the way it works that its more of a promise thing. as in two years or so, he's going to propose for real, asking my father first and getting me the ring, the whole sh-bang. and by this time we would be living together in an apartment off campus to my college, preferably with mark and sam. and when im done with college, we'll get married. so yeah, that's the plan.

i really cant believe i found the one for me. and i know its crazy, but i can SEE myself with him when im 20, 30, 40, and all the decades to come. his love for me is so big, he almost just wants to scream it out to everyone in the world, and vise-versa. its almost like an addiction to him, his voice can make any situation a pleasant one. david, in a corny way, completes me. its like, when im with him, i feel whole and i feel loved and protected and truely happy.

so for all u haters out there, dont even bother. david and i are going to be together forever, i know it.

2 months baby!

2006-08-31T00:54:57Z

today was david and i's two month "month-aversary"

we had a lot of fun. he came over like at 7 and we ate breakfast together and exchanged presents ^_^. then we went to his house for some innocent fun. wink haha. after that we went to see accepted.... wouldn't recoment it. and then back to his house for some more action! haha.

I ♥ david with all my limbic system.

FOREVER

Nail for Breakfast. Tacks for Snacks

2006-08-24T15:38:11Z

I just an amazing half day of school! I got up at six in the morning to shower and all that for the interact club meeting at 7 and it went really great. I LOVE being the vice president of such an amazing club. I got to share the letter that we got from Bienmarc's mom (bienmarc is our sponsor child from the philippines) and everyone was really excited about it. Which makes me so happy. It feels amazing to know that my idea, that originated from a dream, became a reality and i love how everyone supports it so much. It gives me such a sense of accomplishment to know that my idea worked ^_^

i was also very excited to see lisa there. We became distant at the end of 10th grade and practically didnt talk to eachother all 11th grade. But this year is our senior year, and to be honest, i dont care about what happened in 10th grade. Its our last year and why leave on a bad note, right? We had lunch together and i really had a fun time with her, which also makes me happy :D

I don't mean to brag, but life is pretty amazing right now. I have the best boyfriend anyone could ever ask for, amazing friends, a loving brother and father, and a psycho mother 0.o. What more do i need? This goes to show that no matter how shitty your life may seem, you're only a teenager. you have your whole life ahead of you, and to think that ur always going to be unhappy is simply selfish. Life is amazing when you have people to witness it with you.

live.laugh.learn.

LOVE.

i know the food is lowsy, but they serve a coke!

2006-08-21T15:40:55Z

wow, what a week. i can't even begin to express how happy i feel lately. i finally found someone that loves me for who i am and who i was and who im becoming, its really awesome to have someone like david in my life. i have so much shit to do this week before valencia starts:
-band practice
-gktw (sorta)
-drop my english class and register for another one
-figure out what im doing with the whole class officer thing. which is really frustrading me
-football game friday
-governemt portfolio

i dont want to march in band, i really dont. its not something i look forward to, getting all sweaty and hot and dehydrated.
to top it all off im having trouble with ppl i thought were my good friends. you know, the usual high school drama

welp, today is band practice and *ahem* give kids the world *cough* haha

♥

jesus christ-- super star!

2006-08-19T21:33:02Z

last night was truely the best night of my entire life.

isnt love amazing?

details later ;)

I've got sunshine on a cloudy day.

2006-08-10T11:01:24Z

its 6:50 and everyone's waking up to go to school. im just sitting here, waiting for david to call like the weirdo girlfriend i am. yes, he calls me at 7 every morning to wake me up. but this time i beat him to it ;) its so great that every night he's the last voice i hear and every morning he's the first voice i hear. he's amazing in everyway ^_^

we started playing at band yesterday, i feel so bad that im excited for it, as if i have let mr york down. i really do hate dr. white tho, the school has changed so much. it has gotten to the point where everything is about rules and punishment. and i still dont understand why he had the computer program taken away. that was one of the only two AP classes that brought all 4's and 5's to the school.

speaking of polar bears, i've decided to run for senior class secretary, im uber excited ^_^. i hope i win.

^im _also excited cause

i

~~learned~~ _how to use ^html

holy fuck

2006-08-07T06:01:17Z

its 2 AM and i cant fucking sleep. i hate the fact that school starts early. i dont want school to start, especially with my relationship with david progressing the way it is. its amazing, truely. i wish i had a better vocabulary to describe how i feel about him. i wish i could spend every waking moment with him. that would be wonderful.

im scared.. but its a good feeling

2006-08-06T16:06:40Z

im so utterly confused. i know i like him alot. i know i adore him like crazy. but am i falling in love?? its hard to tell. most ppl would say that its not real love or that its too soon to tell. but i feel something. something more than like and more than adore. but love? could i be in love?

when i say shotgun, you say wedding.

2006-07-03T19:04:49Z

last night was one of the best nights of my life. david and i went on our first date and it went awesomely. i adore him so much, its hard to describe. i havent been able to eat or sleep in a couple of days, but thats because i get all nervous and giddy whenever i think about him. he may not be the perfect guy, but he's perfect for me. love is not a word i should use to describe how i feel about him, but "like" is an understatement. i just wish id get to see him before i leave for italy. Im going to miss him AND all of my friends so much.i'll be sure to send postcards! (i hope).

with love, oriana.

build god, then we'll talk

2006-07-01T05:16:04Z

please ignore the last blog, if u even read it. the stuff that i said were true at the time i said it, but the could not be more of the opposite tonight. i am So happy, im radiating. [higher level than glowing]

June 30th will be a date to remember >.o!

lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off.

2006-06-30T04:17:42Z

I've been feeling sort of empty lately. Not necesseraly sad or happy, just empty. as if there's nothing to look forward to or anything to be proud of. AS if i havent accomplished anything. Im leaving for italy on wednesday, and im not excited about it, which is ungreatful on my part. perhaps it simply hasnt hit me yet. Chick flicks make me exsesively depressed. i saw superman today, and even though they didnt end up together (this isnt a spoiler to those who havent seen it, it was even in one of the trailers) it still made me feel extremely alone and unwanted. dont get me wrong, I have amazing friends. Lindsay, who has always, and will always, be there for me. I cannot imagine my life with out her. Vinnie, the boy that keeps me from growing up too quickly, and whom is slowly slipping away. And sam, the wild card, you never know whats going to happen when ur with her but u are guaranteed an unforgettable time.

this may be my medicine talking, but even with these people, i feel as if i dont belong anywhere, or with anyone. for me, at the moment, there really isnt anything for me to look forward to. anywhere i go, i am an outsider or an intruder. and im really tired of pretending im happy 24/7. i was never an expert at expressing my feeling, which is why im confined to writing in this shit that no one reads anyway.

on another note. im doing dual enrollment next year. I was initally quite opposed to DE for some reason or another. But since there was NOTHING to take next year at CHS that didnt include being with freshman (ie: drama 1, acting 1, Speech and debate 1) i had decided to take sociology at valencia. and as i looked into the program ive gotten more into it. as of now im taking 3 classes at CHS (band, ap stat, and ap gov&eco) and 3 at valencia each semester (1st semester: freshmen comp 1, biology, and sociology). im excited about, but also im sad that i wont be at school as much as id like to.

bored-pictures

2006-06-28T03:31:02Z

this sucks. i have a 39.4 fever. i cant swallow. all of my limbs hurt. and my eyes hurt.
i hate being sick!!

heck yes it does

my papi

my eyes look blue!

i love this pic!

BFFAE!

i'm the fat chick second from the left

family!

i loved the gardens

we're so cool

word

attack of the killer squirrel

i'll marry him someday

copy-cat. thats me!

2006-06-19T19:53:57Z

Directions-
Put your music player on shuffle.
Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
No cheating.

Where will I go today?
In blue Hawaii [Brian Wilson]

How am I feeling today?
Fire coming out of the monkey's head [Gorillaz] ??

Will I get far in life?
Cathedral [Crosbys Stills and Nash]

How do my friends see me?
My United States of Whatever [liam lynch]

When will I get Married?
where are we running? [Lenny Kravitz]

What's my theme song?
Superman [five for fighting]

What is the story of my life?
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind theme [jon brion]

What am I like in bed?
Love in an elevator (woah) [aerosmith]

How can I get ahead in life?
Dont panic [coldplay]

What is my best feature?
You got no right [velvet revolver]

How is today going to be?
Maggie's Pancake mix [enter the haggis]

What is in store for this weekend?
Play the game [queen]

What is my life like at the moment?
Dont stop me now [queen]

What song describes my secrets?
edward scissorhands theme [danny elfman] (so weird)

What is my current lover like?
Such great heights [iron and wine]

What song will they play at my funeral?:
Caring is creppy [the shins] :'(

How does the world see me?
upside down [jack johnson] lol

Will I have a happy life?
chemical party [gavin degraw]

What do my friends really think of me?
bohemian rhapsody [queen]

Do people secretly lust after me?
Draw the line [aerosmith] lol!

Will I accomplish my goals in life?
jesus was a crossmaker [Judee sill]

Will I find true love?
anything you want (you got it) [traveling wilburys] i want it. i want it!

How do I treat others?
live and let die [paul mcCartney] wow, cool.

bye ye miss american pie

2006-05-21T22:05:11Z

school year is almost over and i can't believe im practically a senior already. its really weird to think about it. Junior year has come and past and im near the end of my hugh school life. i remember being all excited in middle school where i felt like a big kid because i got to go up the stairs to Upper 2, and the teacher didn't have to walk us to the cafeteria, we actually could walk our selves. i felt so grown up having to choose my own classes and i can recall thinking how high school seemed so far away. i have waited all my life to be 'grown up' and to be able to reach this point in my life. This is ment to be my best summer ever, but i now find my self dreading it. Mostly because i know that it will be over before i know it. and i don't want it to end. I don't want to leave high school. It's all i've ever known, its my home. I don't want to grow up and pay taxes and bills and get a job. I feel as if i didn't enjoy childhood as much as i could. I was too pre-occupied with acting all cool and grown up. Im not ready to face the world yet, im not ready to leave my friends and make new ones and i am certainly not ready to do my own laundry.

My junior year has been the best yet, i've really come out of my shell. and i may have made some bad desicions and i may be destroying my life right now.... but im having fun. This school year led me to drinking and smoking. not my proudest attributes, but it keeps me sane. ive also made a stupid decision by hooking up with a guy that has no interest in me, twice. (way to go oriana). sure, i like him, but i should have never allowed my self to get attached.

This year has been my year of "firsts". first time hooking up with a guy. First time going to a party. First time getting drunk. First time going dancing, and loving it. First prom. first heartbreak. first back stab. first time getting high. first time kissing (and making out with) a girl. first time skipping school. to all of those that i am dissapointing, i am sorry, truely sorry. but i seriously can't lie about it any longer.

but this year hasnt been all bad girl stuff, i also found something that makes me truely happy. Give kids the world is my home away from home. I can spend the rest of my life in that place and i would be truely happy. Volunteering there is not only my passion, but i believe it to be my purpose in life. The look on the faces of those kids brings me the most wonderful feeling in the world. The thought that i can bring hope and joy and happiness to a child who has only seen darkness is what i wake up to every morning.

so there you have it. my life. this is what my junior year brought me and more. now we'll see how i change my senior year.

bored as hell

2006-05-02T02:45:09Z

You scored as Punk/Rebel.

</td>

Punk/Rebel

75%

Drama nerd

56%

Goth

50%

Stoner

44%

Prep/Jock/Cheerleader

31%

Ghetto gangsta

25%

Geek

25%

Loner

What's Your High School Stereotype?
created with QuizFarm.com

first ap test tomorrow. SPANISH. woot.

i dyed my hair! go check it out on my myspace. www.myspace.com/orianam

everybody thinks ur weird snaps

2006-04-25T01:18:29Z

bus rides + *hi* museums +cheesy jokes +restless nights +drama - money + cold rain = BAND TRIP 06'

pictures = soon

I want to turn the whole thing upside down

2006-04-18T11:43:21Z

im doing a quicky here. we leave for the band trip tomorrow meaning we only have one day of school this week... and it's today. and i have 3 tests out of the 4 classes i have today, and it sucks ass. i REALLY don't want to go. i barely studied for history, i don't have my bookt ostudy for english and im actually going to do well on the psychology one cause that's the only one i studied for. wow, i suck at life more than i thought. welp! now i have to get dressed and ready to go to NHS meeting.

bye!

would it be alright by you if I de-greenafy you?

2006-04-17T00:11:35Z

soh, here i am, doing my key terms, minding my own business, when a tiny spider races across my computer screen. I decided to have fun with the little bug and got a see-thru bottle cap and caught it. Let me tell you, that fucker kept me entertained for a whole two minutes. Two minutes of my life that i will never get back.
why, am i so pathetic?

ah well
my mommy decided to be nice and do half my key terms while im gone. which is uber cool of her, but she's only doing it because she feels bad that she made me lie to my dad. which i dont care, it worked in my favor as you can see.

I'm sure half the universe is at alessandra's party, getting crunk. and i am here. sitting on my ass, grounded. i guess i deserve it, and i dont really mind that i dont get to go, cause i had enough fun on thursday to last me for a month. i've decided that im not gonna have a cigarette for two weeks to re-ensure myself that i am not addicted. cause that would bad. no that would be awful. I think i started smoking out of curiosity.. then it turned to something to keep me from SI, which is never good. who cares anyway.

Im glad im taking up writing in my journal again, even if only one person reads it (hi emma). it helps me see myself from an outsiders perspective, if that makes any sence.

Im getting too lazy, and now its back to my key terms.
!!!

restless tonight, cause i wasted the light

2006-04-16T03:17:46Z

oh boy, what to write about.

right now, i hate chick flicks. they always get the guy in the end. too fictional. ugh, i have to shave, my legs look like a forrest, yes it is gross. im way too lazy, maybe i should move to france, that way, i'd never have to shave. OR i could move to france and ACTUALLY shave and be the hottest girl there. yeah, perfect.
i dont know y i complaint so much, i like being single. i can be free.. in a way. it sucks that the only guy that likes me right now is the guy i feel nothing for. its sad, im going to have to tell him soon. I dont want to hurt him, he's super sweet and super cool, but there's just nothing there for me.

Band trip next week, it will be the coolz0rz. i'll get to find out if i really am addicted or not. hey, ive been SI free for seven months now, which is cool i guess. hopefully its gone for good.
i've lost weight, hooray!!

peace

boredom gets the best of me

2006-04-15T13:34:49Z

To Deep Top 8
Who's .. 1: Sam
Who's ..2: Jack
Who's ..3: Deb
Who's ..4: Amanda
Who's ..5: Emma
Who's ..6: Staci
Who's ..7: Alessandra
Who's ..8: Lucas
..1 Questions!
Do you have a crush on ..1?: nope
Have you ever kissed ..1?: LOL yes
Are you ..1 on your ..1's page?: nope
How long have you known ..1?: known eachother since 7th, been friends since 9th? or was it 10th?
What is your best memory of ..1?: last night
Was ..1 always your ..1, or was your orriginal ..1 replaced?: i think she's always been my number 1
How long have you known ..1?: wtf.. same question
Is your ..1 the hottest person on your friends list?: fuck yeah
If you could have ..1 as a booty call or something more, what would it be?: probably booty call.. and i'd have to be drunk. cause i dont swing that way
..2
Is ..2 male or Female?: male
Is number 2 hot?: yup
Was ..2 ever your ..1?: no
How long have you known ..2?: hmm... 2 years?
How did you meet ..2?: school
Have you ever kissed ..2?: nope
Would you ever date ..2?: we have
Who framed Roger Rabbit? Was it ..2?: no... it was the guy from back to the future
Why is ..2 your friend?: cause he's awesome
..3
How long have you known ..3?: since freshman year
Have you ever kissed ..3?: not yet, lol
Have you ever been mad at ..3?: nope
What's your favorite thing about ..3?: everything, i love deb!
Would ..3 be a good shoulder to lean on?: definetly
How did you meet ..3?: miss rex's class
Ever been drunk with ..3?: not yet
Ever been hurt by ..3?: nope
Would you take a bullet for ..3?: any day
..4
How well do you know ..4?: better eveyday
Ever made out with ..4?: nope
Do you have crush on ..4?: lol, amanda, you're hot, but i dont swing that way
Ever been drunk with ..4?: nope
Would ..4 have your back in a fight?: hells yea, mostly because she wont survive a fight
Ever been mad at ..4?: not that i know of
Has ..4 ever stolen a bf/gf from you?: never
Have you ever met ..4 in person?: yes....??
Is ..4 hot?: i stated that earlier
..5
Have you ever kissed ..5?: ha! she wishes
Would you ever date ..5?: wtf, why does this survey insisnt on making me look gay
Has ..5 ever pissed you off?: nope
Would ..5 take a bullet for you?: i sure hope so cause i'd take one for her
Have you ever been drunk with ..5?: im not sure, i know i was... but i think she may only had been a little buzzed
Have you ever met ..5?: yes.....
Ever fantisized about ..5?: lol not sexually
Is ..5 a good friend?: amazing
Would ..5 have your back in a fight?: yes
..6
How do you know ..6?: she's one of my best friends
Is ..6 a good friend?: yes!
Have you ever faught ..6?: nope
Has ..6 ever stolen a bf/gr from you?: nope
Have you ever kissed ..6?: nope
Ever been drunk with ..6?: nope
Has ..6 ever lied to you?: probably, then again, it was probably a white lie
Do you trust ..6?: with all my life
Have you talked to ..6 today?: no, actually
..7
Do you know ..7 well?: not extremely, but yes
Ever kissed ..7?: nope
Ever faught with ..7?: nope
Would you date ..7?: if i was a guy.....
Could ..8 ever take ..7's spot?: sure? i really dont care
Do you love ..7?: yes!
..7 ever lied to you?: i wouldnt know
..8
Have you ever kissed ..8?: haha....maybe
Ever faught with ..8?: nope
Ever been drunk with ..8?: fuck yea
Would you date ..8?: sure
Would ..8 have your back in a fight?: i have no clue
Ever fantisized about ..8?: nope
Has ..8 ever lied to you?: how would i know???
Do you think ..8 is hot?: asian hot
Is ..8 replaceable?: never
Random
Who's the hottest person on your list?: me. OH the list! they are all hot
Have you ever done anything with anyone on your list? If so, who?: ive done bunch of things with eveyone. like goin to the movies... blah blah
Who's your best friend on your list?: sam and amanda and staci
Who would be most likely to have your back in a fight?: sam.. and jack, cause he can take any of you fuckers down
If you were to date a top 8 member of your list, who would you pick?: i think everyone know the answer to that
Take this survey | Find more surveys
You've been totally Bzoink*d

Fuck. That. Shit.

2006-04-15T00:37:44Z

I am Physically, Mentally, and emotionally exhausted. i Had the best night of my life so far last night. and all because of one guy (and a couple of jack daniels). There is a point for my blog, i just dont know what it is yet. Im tired of being lonely, im tired of feeling left out, unappreciated, and lonely. I want to feel close to someone, i want to love someone, but most important, i want to be loved and desired back. But i feel as if i can't. I don't allow myself. i fear change, i really do. I dont know how i could handle having a boyfriend, concentrating my time on him when im only used to planning my schedule around my friends and family. I also realized that i dont trust people very much, if someone show's a bit of interest in me, i always think that they are playing a joke on me, or they are doing it out of pity, or they lost a bet (or they were drunk, lol) I hooked up with one guy, for one night, and it felt good. fuck, it felt great. But that was only one night, and i dont know what it would be like if i had a bf. I dont even know what im saying anymore. i lost my train of thought a long time ago. then again, who cares, no one reads these anyway.

I came to the conclusion that i definetly want to feel the way i felt last night, and it may not be with the same person, even though i wouldn't mind if it was, but i want to be with someone who will treat me the way i dont really deserve to be treated. i want to be loved, but then again, who doesnt?